warning: this post contains swears and egregious misuse of quotation marks
Anyway. As usual all the women in the office went ape shit. What’s really annoying is that before taking a brownie they all have to say: “Oh I really shouldn’t…” or “Maybe just one…”
Ladies, lets not pretend that you don’t stuff your fat faces with hoagies and fries at lunch. All anyone ever does in this freaking office is eat crap. All day long. The majority of people in this office look like the customers in an American Cosco. By this I mean, morbidly obese.
I hate the fact that women have to preface eating by uttering these meaningless, shallow and totally bullshit lines. As I stuffed some of the trans fat-laden brownie into my face, one of the publishers walked by.
“Oh those must be good, everyone is eating them!”
I nodded and widened my eyes in an “Oh you know it sister!” kind of a way. I hate when I do that. I am being totally sarcastic but totally pandering to the idiocy at the same time.
“Good thing bathing suit season is almost over!” she laughed.
This is one of those moments when I want to do one of two things:
Laugh maniacally until she feels stupid for saying such a clichéd and unfunny thing, or, roll my eyes and say “Oh my god, just get over it already. Eat your fucking brownie and shut up.”
Instead I “laugh” along with her and hate myself a little.
Bathing suit season. Go fuck yourself. I have an IQ over 85. I don’t bother myself with such trivial matters.
This morning the Husband was telling me that one of the guys at work was complaining because his wife spent hundreds of dollars on some new bras. He told the guys how he “freaked out” when she told him - that is until he saw her in the bras. He went on to talk about how breastfeeding their 2 children had ruined his wife’s breasts. How they used to be like the breasts of a teenager. But these new bras made them look great. ‘Buy more!’ he told her.
What a fucking asshole. Can you imagine his wife finding out that her husband was standing around telling a bunch of firefighters how bad her tits were? She carried, birthed and nursed your DAUGHTERS you fucktard. DAUGHTERS that you are going to turn into bulimic little self-obsessed twats because of your retarded attitude about women. I hope your dick rots off.
Ahh, that was cathartic.
Now back to my brownie.
Labels: blah, Pregnancy, work bullshit