Avery's new word

ME: "Avery, do you want to sing a song with me?"

AVERY: "I can't; I have crap in my mouth".

(There was nothing in her mouth)

never forget this

Hayden has been in the habit lately of waking up at 4am and dicking around for about 45 minutes before going back to sleep. Any by dicking around I mean crawling around the bed on top of the husband and I, babbling to herself, repeatedly shouting out “Hi!!!” in hopes that someone will open their eyes and acknowledge her, and trying to gain access to my boobs. It’s all very annoying but I have begun to learn to accept it, and to just keep my eyes closed and eventually she will go back to sleep.

This morning, she woke at her usual ungodly hour and army-crawled over to me, wrapped herself around me, put her head on my shoulder and said: “mama….mama…” in the sweetest voice, then sighed deeply and went back to sleep.

Happiness, peace…have I been waiting all of my life for this? Yes. And here it is and I never want to forget this feeling. How could I ever have existed without these two little girls of mine in this universe with me?

Truly this is bliss.

happiness

Well, well, well.

I suppose I got a bit ahead of myself assuming that I would be blogging it up here on a regular basis. I’m not going to lie and say that I’ve been far too busy at work with, well, work. I’ve been working, yes, but I have also been catching up on all of the political news, celebrity fluff and other randomness and fantastical offerings from Google that I missed over the year I was on maternity leave.

I have a small corner office located in a relatively quiet part of the building. I can sort of see a window. I have plants. I have earphones so that I can listen to music and watch you tube videos with sound. I have privacy and freedom from the demands of small, tyrannical children. Each morning I come in, plop down in my chair, kick off my grown up shoes (read: uncomfortable high heels) and drink a HOT coffee until it is done. The demands of my job are spaced out and often, I am finished what I need to do with a few hours to spare each day.

At home, things are wonderful. Hayden has FINALLY starting sleeping all night. I’m still nursing her in the morning and before bed, but she no longer wakes to feed and I am feeling much better for it. Avery sleeps most of the night in her own room and then comes in to join Hayden, the husband and I after that. Eventually, the girls will share a room together, but not until Hayden is a bit older.

We threw a 3rd birthday party for Avery last weekend. She had a blast. I think we had about 10 kids, plus her two cousins, plus the adults and my mother and father in law. It went beautifully. The husband prepared the vegan fare (pizzas, soy hot dogs, pasta and potato salads and a chocolate “princess” cake with pink icing) and everyone enjoyed. I tossed a bunch of toys out in the backyard for the kids to play with rather than having any organized games (can you imagine organizing games for a bunch of three-and-unders?) My girlfriend Karen came to stay for the weekend with her son, and while it was a lot of extra work (more on that later), it was really nice to see her and her 9 month old.

Avery is happily attending pre-school two mornings a week and the rest of the time she is home with daddy and Hayden. My husband is wonderful with the girls and they are all so close. Our marriage is very strong again; we are both happy and feel like the best friends we used to be, before all of the chaos. As the girls are getting a little less demanding and we are getting our evenings back, I’m finding that we almost never argue. After we put the girls to bed, we sit out on the deck and have a glass of wine and talk.

Hayden is starting to talk. She is still pretty whiny and very clingy with both my husband and I, but I know that this too shall pass. The other day the husband had to go have a shower so he asked Avery to keep Hayden happy for a few minutes and Avery replied by saying: “Okay Daddy, no problem. I can make her happy; I have silly faces.”

Avery is so good with her sister. They are both such empathetic and loving people. I have no worries that they will be close for the rest of their lives.

I have a 3 year old, a fifteen month old, a husband, a full time job, and a house and garden to keep but somehow I am finding a balance. This is happiness, and I have been waiting for it for a long time.