chocolate cookies

Avery: 20 months old.

I am hopelessly in love with this girl.

Dear Hayden

I am 32 weeks pregnant with you today. In exactly six weeks, at approximately 3:45pm, you will be born. Someday, when you and your sister look through your baby books, you’ll notice that I wrote her many letters when I was pregnant with her. Mostly, this is because I had a lot more time in those days, and the whole pregnancy thing was new and scary to me, and I was amazed that I was finally getting to become a mother. This time is equally amazing, but the anxiety and fear are absent, and most days I find that my mind is preoccupied with other things – usually things having to do with your sister Avery, or work, or family stuff.

You can be sure that you are just as wanted and loved (already) as Avery. We started trying for you in July of 2008. You daddy and I decided that we would like our children to be close together in age because we wanted them to be best friends for each other. I was pregnant with you in August. I found out two weeks after I had returned to work from my maternity leave with your sister. Daddy and I were thrilled.

You have been good to me throughout this pregnancy, and despite my gallstones, everything has gone very well. Though you will not be my first born, I can assure you that you are no less important, and in many ways, you are much luckier than your sister. You are being born to a mother who worked out all the kinks with the first baby and is much more confident in her skills now than she was the first time around. Avery taught me how to love unconditionally, to sacrifice my everything for another human being, to be patient, to enjoy breastfeeding, and to keep my babies close to me, even at night. Your daddy and I have a better, more secure and even more loving relationship with each other than we did before having children.

Also, I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to find out that you are a girl. I am in heaven. Two girls are what I have always wanted.

Daddy rearranged the bedroom and set up your co-sleeper yesterday. Your sister still sleeps with us and we don’t plan on changing that until everyone is ready. We got and still do get a lot of criticism for having our babies sleep in our room, but thankfully your daddy and I have ignored all of the bad advice. After we had Avery, your dad and I changed our lifestyle for the better. We became vegetarian, we stopped eating processed food, and we dug up our backyard and made it into one big vegetable garden. I embraced breastfeeding and nursed your sister until she weaned herself at 15 months and plan on doing the same with you. I learned to let housework and other things slide in favour of spending my time enjoying my baby and my husband. Perhaps one of the best things is that I am going to stay home with you and your sister for a few years. Your father and I have shifted our priorities and decided that family time is the most important thing. Work is necessary to provide us with an income but we can get away with having me at home for a few years and feel that this will be best for you and Avery. The hardest thing I ever did was leave your sister to go back to work full time.

I know Avery is going to be a wonderful big sister. You are coming into a loving, warm and happy house, and we are all so excited to meet you.

Until then, keep growing strong and I will see you soon my sweet girl.

Love,

Mum

xoxo