Thursday, October 01, 2009

looking back, looking ahead

Where has the time gone?

Hayden is almost six months old, Avery has turned 2. I was going to give up on this blog because I don't even have time to take a shower these days, but the other day I was thinking that this is probably a good way to keep a record of the girls, help me blow off some steam, and to remind me to be thankful and appreciative of the litle things...and the big things.

Hayden was colicky from 6weeks old to about 3 months old. I was so worried that I was going to have a really unhappy, high needs baby. Avery was pretty high needs but never had the colic so I was not too impressed. In fact, I went down the rabbit hole again and fell under the spell of post-partum depression. I pulled myself out of it after a couple of months and have remained pretty happy since.

I've learned to appreciate babyhood, and also to let myself sometimes wish for it to be over, but only on the very hard days. I have learned to appreciate the relationship that my husband and I have. Having babies with someone changes a relationship in many ways. After my husband watched me try to push a baby out, have two c-sections, and help me go pee and wipe and put my underwear on me in the hospital, it has finally opened my eyes to the fact that this man loves me. All of me. And he loves our girls. I think he is one of the best fathers out there. We have bad days, but I would say that the good ones outnumber the hard ones.

I'm going to keep writing in this blog because I have lots to write about. I have wonderful, beautiful, happy children and I want to document them. I'm going to do my best to write often, though I think this is a lofty goal right now.

For now I'll squeeze a few sentences in here and there between baby naps and loads of laundry.

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