parenting circa 1890
Could we possibly dumb down parenting any more? I think Western culture has managed to strip women of all their natural instincts and then replaced it with a steady stream of stupid pregnancy and baby book information. I was watching television last night – something baby related on one of those for-babies and parents TV channels and one of their “parenting advice segments” came on. This is a 5 minute feature which “tackles” real life parenting questions for the viewers. The question on this segment came from a mother who wanted to know if she could “spoil her child with too much affection”. She actually asked that fucking question. And they TOOK IT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH TO DEVOTE AN ENTIRE 5 MINUTES TO IT!
Where the hell is this sort of Victorian thinking coming from?
This is my answer to this woman: You fail. If you have to ask a question like that then you suck at motherhood. You gave birth to a human being, not a potato. Human beings need love and affection. Perhaps you are a cyborg and have adopted a human child and do not understand what babies need? If this is the case then I suggest that you return the baby and go back to your planet.
When I was pregnant, I read the usual tripe on the subject that you find in any bookstore. Horrible books like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and “What to Expect in the First Year” initially made me feel like a bad parent because I was unable to “harden my heart and let my baby cry it out” or because I had a glass of wine with Christmas dinner. These books are shit and totally contrary to any instinct the human mother generally possesses. This might be offensive to some parents but I think letting a baby cry it out in a crib to teach them independence is bullshit. It’s wrong and ours is the only culture that thinks it is acceptable. Some books I read even tell the parent not to worry if the baby cries so hard that she throws up – simply go and clean it up with as little interaction with the child as possible to let them know that it is time to shut up and go to sleep. You know who this is for? Mum and dad. Not the baby.
How absurd that we think a six month old needs to learn independence.
This is the kind of pap that we are fed. And apparently, it leaves some people so confused and helpless that they worry about spoiling their babies with affection. For once, can we please look around the world at cultures that get it right; cultures that have happy babies and happy mothers? Your baby does not need an Exersaucer and a bouncy chair and Baby Einstein videos and a Sophie – your baby needs you: during the day and at night. It’s tiring and it fucking sucks sometimes but you pretty much sign up for it when you get pregnant.
I wish I had known this before I had my daughter. It would have saved me weeks of unnecessary crying on her part and guilt on mine. To a new or expecting mother I would say: go ahead, sleep with your baby, breastfeed her, hold her all the time and enjoy it. Soon it will be over and you will miss those wonderful baby days. And your child will be so much happier for it.
Where the hell is this sort of Victorian thinking coming from?
This is my answer to this woman: You fail. If you have to ask a question like that then you suck at motherhood. You gave birth to a human being, not a potato. Human beings need love and affection. Perhaps you are a cyborg and have adopted a human child and do not understand what babies need? If this is the case then I suggest that you return the baby and go back to your planet.
When I was pregnant, I read the usual tripe on the subject that you find in any bookstore. Horrible books like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and “What to Expect in the First Year” initially made me feel like a bad parent because I was unable to “harden my heart and let my baby cry it out” or because I had a glass of wine with Christmas dinner. These books are shit and totally contrary to any instinct the human mother generally possesses. This might be offensive to some parents but I think letting a baby cry it out in a crib to teach them independence is bullshit. It’s wrong and ours is the only culture that thinks it is acceptable. Some books I read even tell the parent not to worry if the baby cries so hard that she throws up – simply go and clean it up with as little interaction with the child as possible to let them know that it is time to shut up and go to sleep. You know who this is for? Mum and dad. Not the baby.
How absurd that we think a six month old needs to learn independence.
This is the kind of pap that we are fed. And apparently, it leaves some people so confused and helpless that they worry about spoiling their babies with affection. For once, can we please look around the world at cultures that get it right; cultures that have happy babies and happy mothers? Your baby does not need an Exersaucer and a bouncy chair and Baby Einstein videos and a Sophie – your baby needs you: during the day and at night. It’s tiring and it fucking sucks sometimes but you pretty much sign up for it when you get pregnant.
I wish I had known this before I had my daughter. It would have saved me weeks of unnecessary crying on her part and guilt on mine. To a new or expecting mother I would say: go ahead, sleep with your baby, breastfeed her, hold her all the time and enjoy it. Soon it will be over and you will miss those wonderful baby days. And your child will be so much happier for it.
Labels: attachment parenting, bullshit, mommy bullshit, Pregnancy
posted by vegan mum at 10:39 AM
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