the size of watermelons
Today is my second day back at work from my maternity leave. Yesterday, if you can believe it, I was too busy to post. Instead of a long, weepy post about how much I miss Avery (and I do, in such a horrible, soul-draining way), I’m going to try to be a bit more upbeat.
Let’s start with the title of this post.
1. I have not stopped breastfeeding Avery. She was fine yesterday as she mostly eats solids all day anyway. I had no idea that missing one or two small feedings (or what I thought were small feedings) in a day would result in giant porno boobs. When I got home last night she nursed for like 20 minutes, just on one boob, while the other one leaked. Luckily, she nursed a few times last night and the engorgement went down on both sides. The problem now is that my tits appear to be confused and just keep producing. All day and all night. I just went to the washroom here and caught the side profile of myself in the mirror. The size of my breasts is ridiculous…so much so that I am actually feeling a little self-conscious about it.
2. Speaking of the mirror in the washroom here – my ass looks fantastic. Really. I put on my favourite black work pants this morning and I have to admit, things are looking pretty good.
3. Holy shit, my job is boring. I totally forgot about that while I was away.
4. I am already sick of the mindless, soul-sucking, eye-rollingly annoying, vapid conversations the women around here have with each other. I don’t care if the dress you are wearing to the party is “Bordeaux” coloured, or that the engagement ring your douche bag fiancé gave you is a “princess cut”. Please stop interrupting me while I am trying to get caught up on very important celebrity news on Perez Hilton.com
5. Hello again Internet. I’m back and I am going to enjoy hours of mindless Googling, uninterrupted by a whining 1 year old.
6. No one cool or interesting sits near me anymore.
7. I hope I get pregnant this month.
Let’s start with the title of this post.
1. I have not stopped breastfeeding Avery. She was fine yesterday as she mostly eats solids all day anyway. I had no idea that missing one or two small feedings (or what I thought were small feedings) in a day would result in giant porno boobs. When I got home last night she nursed for like 20 minutes, just on one boob, while the other one leaked. Luckily, she nursed a few times last night and the engorgement went down on both sides. The problem now is that my tits appear to be confused and just keep producing. All day and all night. I just went to the washroom here and caught the side profile of myself in the mirror. The size of my breasts is ridiculous…so much so that I am actually feeling a little self-conscious about it.
2. Speaking of the mirror in the washroom here – my ass looks fantastic. Really. I put on my favourite black work pants this morning and I have to admit, things are looking pretty good.
3. Holy shit, my job is boring. I totally forgot about that while I was away.
4. I am already sick of the mindless, soul-sucking, eye-rollingly annoying, vapid conversations the women around here have with each other. I don’t care if the dress you are wearing to the party is “Bordeaux” coloured, or that the engagement ring your douche bag fiancé gave you is a “princess cut”. Please stop interrupting me while I am trying to get caught up on very important celebrity news on Perez Hilton.com
5. Hello again Internet. I’m back and I am going to enjoy hours of mindless Googling, uninterrupted by a whining 1 year old.
6. No one cool or interesting sits near me anymore.
7. I hope I get pregnant this month.
posted by vegan mum at 12:44 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home