shit

When I first got the stool softener for Avery I thought: this should be no problem giving this to her. It is an orange flavoured syrup to be administered orally via a little plunger thingy. Two teaspoons twice a day, to be increased as is tolerated up to a maximum of two tablespoons twice a day.

I started this stuff 2 weeks ago. We made it one week and got up to the maximum dosage before Avery decided that she no longer wanted to consume this insipid orangey shit and refused to drink it, even if I "concealed" it in another liquid. I can imagine that breastmilk and insipid orange flavoured shit don't mix well. Also, Avery is not a fan of many other liquids. She does like water, but will not drink it with the orange stuff in it.

Ugh.

Since she started this stuff, she has had a few big poops, nothing I would call monumental, and is still waking up 4-5 times a night with gas pain whereupon I must nurse her back to sleep. Both of us are exhausted. Now she isn't getting her stool softener so she has not pooped in two days. Tomorrow we see the pediatrician again where I will have to explain to him that perhaps having a medicine that needs to be administered in this fashion twice a day for 6-8 months is not the best option for a 10 month old. I will also have to try not to get teary in the office, which is no guarantee as I am incredibly sleep deprived with a baby that is always hurting and I have to wean her and get her on solid fucking food in time for me to go back to work in July.

Again I say ugh.

backlog

We saw our pediatrician today, who had the results of the x-ray on Avery. It turns out Avery has a HUGE blockage of poop in her colon. I was in tears. How long has she been suffering with this? How many times did I go to our stupid family doctor only to be told that it was normal constipation from solid foods? I am ALWAYS going to listen to my momtuition from now on and not take any shit from doctors. Pardon the pun.

Avery is now taking a stool softener/laxative to "gently" coerce the lump out of her poor little body. I expect I will have a new baby in a week or two. For now, I am on poop watch. This could get messy.

bad mommy

Avery has decided not to poop. Well, technically it has only been 3 days, but the kid is not comfortable. We start out each day just fine but everyday for the last 3 days around 9am, Avery starts to grunt and then the grunting turns to crying and then the crying turns to wailing.

My baby never used to wail. Ever. She hardly ever cries.

This usually stops when I drug her with Tylenol (for the horrible teething that has been non-stop since she was three months old...and holy shit, she is getting a molar) and stick her on my boob until she passes out. My daughter is nine months old and still subsists mainly on breastmilk. I started solids when she was six months old by going the traditional route: rice cereal mixed with breastmilk, bananas, etc. EVERYTHING was organic and I even kept a food diary of what she ate and when, how she liked it, and what her poo looked like. She was constipated for awhile but my doctor assured me that it was totally normal and to keep pressing on. We bought the freshest organic produce and blended and froze and served her the best food we could....then she got diarrhea. I went to the doctor and was told again not to worry and that I probably gave her too much fruit or something. Meanwhile, my momtuition was telling me that something else was going on. However, I left the office like a good little patient and continued to feed Avery solids.

After another week of her waking through the night 4 or 5 times with gas pain that she could not pass, I went back to the doctor. She told me to stop feeding all solids for a few days, just nurse her, and then start from scratch to eliminate what could be irritating Avery so much. This time I told her I wanted to see a specialist or a pediatrician. We were referred. This was March 31 and my appointment with the pediatrician is not until April 22. I started all over again with the food and found, once again, that EVERYTHING bothers her.

For the last couple of days I have been giving her prunes and lots of water to drink (in a bisphenol A laced sippy cup as I recently found out) and still no poop. The husband and I have given up on the pureed baby food and have been giving her little bits of whatever we are eating at each meal instead. I am still recording what she gets, and I am still giving her solids because at 9 months old and 26 lbs, my boobs are not enough.

I am so frustrated and I feel so guilty that she is suffering. Most of the day she is happy and playful and up until the last 3 days she seemed to be doing better. None of the mums in my baby group have had this problem. Their kids all pound down the solids. I keep thinking that I did something wrong. I really hope the pediatrician will be able to help her.

So much for giving her the best start in life with the breastfeeding and organic foods.