Better than being in Iraq

Okay, so while I wait to hear back from the other jobs that I have applied to, I will try to maintain a positive attitude about being stuck here in this shithole. One more annoyance that has been added to my life here in the cubicle farm is that the summer students have started and I am responsible for them. I feel bad for them. They so obviously hate their jobs (database stuff = Über boring) and I think they all think that I am like the other bosses (anal and irritating) which of course I am not, but they haven’t had enough time to figure this out yet. So whatever.

I am waiting for my period to start (3 days late and fingers crossed). I can’t believe it is taking so long to get pregnant. I keep having all these baby dreams.

And that is about it. Nothing very interesting has been going on in my life, so I don’t have much to report. I am trying not to complain too much about work. Although I am stuck downtown at conferences this week and there is a frigging transit strike on. Oh yeah, and it’s like 4000 degrees outside (thank you global warming).

But, as one of my friends here at work says, it could be worse-we could be in Iraq.

Office Girl.

Employment Evaluation

I have recently begun to distribute resumes in hopes of finding more suitable employment. Yes, I am still trying to get pregnant and this has been holding me back from looking for alternate employment, but I am now feeling claustrophobic at my current job; and quite frankly, I feel trapped and it is depressing me. Looking for a new job has caused me to ask myself some pretty serious questions:

Am I going to end up hating every job I have or does it just feel that way because I have had so many crap jobs?

Is there such a thing as a workplace where there are fewer than 3 assholes per department?

Do I have the intestinal fortitude to tell my current boss ‘goodbye’?

For question number one, I began to reflect on past positions I have had. When I was younger, I worked at a lot of cafes and coffee shops, I also waitressed in bars – all to get me through university. These jobs were definitely crap, but when you are young and working at somewhere like a Starbucks, you don’t sweat it because you tell yourself that you are finishing your education and will then be on to bigger and better things. (Audible snort). These jobs are also low stress, provide free coffee, food etc to you and your friends, and you get to socialize a lot (mostly because you are working with your friends). I always hated my boss at those jobs. Usually they were overly hairy, perverted men who had very bad tempers but would never notice that you had not washed the floors at closing EVER in the history of your employment.

I then worked a series of “mall jobs”, by which I mean I worked in the local mall, bouncing from selling over-priced perfume and body wash to selling clothes to selling knick knacks and candles. All required a certain dollar amount of sales per day, yet none offered commission. At these jobs, I also hated my boss, who was usually a very obese woman that ate at the food court everyday and then complained about her weight. Also crap jobs, also low-stress.

Then I go into the office job thing. Again, worked for very bad managers whom I disliked, but was able to sit rather than stand all day and browse the internet or message my friends and look like I was working. The major difference at this point: school finished, still working for crap wages – no way to console self as this appears to be the “future” you were dreaming about whilst making lattes. Begin to tell self you will go back to school. This doesn’t happen. Start looking for new job.

And here I am. And I hate it. And I work for an asshole.

As for the second question about the assholes? The answer is no. No such place exists where there are less than 3 fuckwits per department/cubicle section/floor etc. This is only my opinion though, as well as information I have gleaned from other office workers over beers in my backyard. These usually end up in drunken rant sessions about how much we all hate our jobs and how short the weekends really feel. Welcome to adulthood.

The final question I have been pondering is, can I tell my boss goodbye if I am offered another position. Well, on the days where she is being an extreme bitch (which is pretty much every day she is in the office) I feel like I would not have a problem. Then there are days where I think about pregnancy, maternity leave benefits, and reputation. Imagine starting a great new job and then finding out you’re pregnant. Kiss that job goodbye because no one will respect you for that.

So I figure I will just keep handing out resumes and see what happens. Who knows, maybe karma will smile upon me this year. I don’t think I can last where I am much longer. This job is turning me into a miserable, stressed out freak.


Office Girl

Rage

It is really hot in the office today. Actually, it seems to be overly warm in here every day. When you walk into this office from the hallway outside, it’s like walking into a rainforest. MegaBitch (MB) cranks up the thermostat whenever she feels cold, which is all the time. She raises the temperature by four degrees every morning, and every afternoon I go over there and turn it down. I figure, if she doesn’t bother to ask anyone before she adjusts the temperature, then neither will I. It gives me rage. If you are too cold or too hot at work, then dress accordingly. She should bring a goddamn sweater if she’s cold. She is the only one with a window seat and I guess a draft comes along with that. Me-I’m shoved into a cubicle in the middle of the room right under a heating vent with no view except the mustard yellow wall in front of me. The temperature should be set at a standard 21C, not 24C or 25C. Rage.

I am so tired of hearing women go on about how cold they are all the time. What the hell is up with that? Even the overweight ones are always cold. I’m always uncomfortable in here, regardless of what I’m wearing (which of course involves a certain amount of covering up for professional reasons) because it is humid and too warm. Everywhere else in the building is much nicer and cooler.

I had to listen to all the office idiots talk about how much they looooove Grey’s Anatomy at lunch today. What gets me is that, in the background the cafeteria has the television sets on to the news channel, where they are discussing the role of the Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan, and here is everyone at my table, gabbing away about the moronic television shows they watch. More rage. Sorry to anyone who likes that show, I just think its mindless entertainment, not this epic that everyone makes it out to be. I swear, make a show about doctors and their seedy relationships with each other, add in some drama and sprinkle liberally with misused medical jargon and people go nuts.

“Oh it’s just the smartest show on television!” they say.

The same applies to lawyer and cop shows.

Hey, I watch crap too. But its worthwhile crap. No one can tell me that Lost is nothing more than a soap opera. At least it has some substance.

And speaking of stupid; you know someone at work actually accused me of making up the word ‘verbose’ the other day. I used it and they started at me like I should be embarrassed and said: “That’s not even a word! You just made that up!”

Yeah.

Office Girl.

Portrait of an Office Worker, as a Disgruntled Young Woman

I just heard that my old company (the one I worked at before this job) shut down their Toronto operations (where I was working out of). I guess I got out at a good time. I have to say though that as much as the pay sucked, I liked what I did there. I knew the company was going down the tubes, and I knew that it was because of some pretty crappy management amongst other things, but there were some really great people I worked with- both in Toronto and in Vancouver. I feel really bad for the people that lost their jobs. I hope the Vancouver operations can stay afloat-they have a lot more people working there.

So yeah, I'm nostalgic for my old job, but I guess that's pretty common. It's easy to forget all the bad times when you have been away from it for so long. I think what I miss the most is the autonomy I had. I was not being micro-managed like I am here. I think I need a job that allows me to have freedom and control; I need that. I am not a drone. I like to be able to branch out and make decisions. I work hard, but I find that where I am now is changing that. I have no inspiration here and I work in such a negative environment. I don't think its good for me.

The pay dispute is still going on and it has soured me. They are expecting me to sign the letter and I am not going to. Every time I have to say no to them, it gets more stressful. I am not going to look for a new job because the pay here is good and if I get pregnant soon (fingers crossed) I want to have good maternity benefits. I look at this job as one of life's sacrifices that one has to make. When I am off on my year of maternity leave, I hope that I will be able to find a job that I will like, because I sure as hell am not coming back here.

At least my husband has a great job that he loves. It would really suck if both of us hated what we do. I am going to put on a big shit eating grin and get through this. Hopefully, this month is the month for getting pregnant.

Office Girl.