the centre cannot hold

A few weeks ago, the President of the company I work for sent out an e-mail to all the employees to let everyone know that despite the current economic crisis in the US, everything was fine. I immediately called bullshit and when talking to a few of my colleagues, suggested that this is the placating email that goes out before the cuts come. Everyone told me I was being pessimistic. I work for a big company, with many locations worldwide. I guess everyone felt safe up here in Canada but guess what? I was freaking right.

Today is, what I can only imagine, the first of the “restructuring” emails. The handy little euphemism means that the company will be cutting some fat. This time, it’s about 300 people globally. The email downplays this seriousness by reminding us that this is only 1% of worldwide staff. Of course they don’t tell us where they are cutting and which departments are going to go first. Once again, everyone thinks I am being paranoid. I have a feeling this is the beginning of some serious layoffs.

What amazes me is that, even before this email came out, no one seemed to be concerned about the state of the economies – ours or the States. Are the masses too distracted with their bread and circuses? Am I being paranoid?

For now, all I can do is sit and wait. I do think things are going to get a lot worse though. Thankfully the husband has a recession-proof job. I know a lot of people in some pretty bad situations right now.

the egg is official

We had the ultrasound this morning and to our relief, everything looks fine. There was the egg, bouncing around and kicking up a storm in there, just like Avery was doing in her 12 week ultrasound. I even got pictures this time. (They never offered with Avery’s first ultrasound). So the relief is much needed and has certainly settled my mind.

The next ultrasound is going to be booked for the week of December 1, 2008, and we get to find out the sex at that one. For now, I am going to relax and enjoy the pregnancy.

Today was a good day.

the plastic baby bin

The other day, the husband and I were discussing our plans for the birth of number #2, or “the egg” as we now call him/her. Since I have to have a c-section again, I know I will be in the hospital for at least 2 nights. Originally, the husband suggested having my father stay over at our house overnight with Avery for those nights so that he could stay with me in the hospital. I realized immediately this would not work as a) Avery sleeps in a bed with us and there is no way in hell my dad would be able to put her down and go sleep somewhere else, and b) my dad is an alcoholic (between the hours of 3pm – bedtime) and I really don’t think that jives with taking care of my daughter.

A funny thing happened to me after I had a baby: I stopped being a total pussy. I waved my husbands suggestions of him staying with me off and told him that he could stay home with Avery and I could manage by myself in the hospital. I really do feel cool about that. When I was in the hospital after having Avery, I was terrified to be alone. Mostly because the surgery seriously restricted my movement, but also because I had a brand new baby and I didn’t know what to do.

This time, I could be abandoned on a desert island and I know I would be just fine. The only thing I have to worry about is being assertive enough with the nurses who insist I keep the new baby in that little plastic bin beside the bed while I sleep. Hell no sister. First of all, the bin is not right beside the bed, secondly, when the baby cries, I will have to page and wait for a nurse to get him/her for me. Fuck that shit yo. I’ll do what I did with Avery – the baby sleeps on me, I prop pillows around us so no one falls out of bed. What other mammal, or even animal for that matter has a baby and then leaves it on the other side of the nest/cave/in some bushes around the corner?

Anyway. I have an ultrasound next Thursday. This is the one that makes me nervous because we are seeing for the first time if everything is okay. I’m sure it is based on the fact that I have been so sick, I am beginning to look 5 months pregnant rather than 3, and I’m totally serious about this: I can feel some tiny little movements in there. Crazy, I know, but true.

We’re going to bring Avery with us so she can see the new baby, not that she’ll really care, but this is more for us than her I guess. My husband wanted all of us to be there because “it should be a family thing.” I think that is really sweet of him.

In other news: I have yet another cold and I am literally dragging myself through the day here at work. I have a feeling I will not be returning after lunch.

Obama Won

That any news media in the States or anywhere else in the world for that matter could suggest otherwise, is ridiculous. I watched the debate last night, all the way up here in Canada and silently (as I had a sleeping baby on my lap) cheered Obama on and he remained calm, cool and most of all logical as McCain stumbled arthritically around the stage tossing out platitudes and euphemisms from his big bag of ‘the same old bullshit’.

From a strictly esthetic perspective (and don’t say this stuff doesn’t count – you know it does) Obama was the clear winner. The man is handsome (okay maybe I have a slight crush), he wears a suit like nobody’s business, and he makes sitting on one of the awkward chair/stool things look like he’s lounging in a Lazy Boy.

McCain is stodgy like overcooked oatmeal. He was stuffed into his suit like a sausage. When answering questions from the members in the Town Hall, he would scurry up to them like a one-legged man, limping and straining, to awkwardly get in their face and fling an arm absentmindedly towards them as he spoke. Clearly, his old body had a hard time perching on the stool, and instead of looking like he was getting up to keep the blood flowing, his constant up and down made him look nervous, sketchy and self-conscious.

From an intellectual standpoint, both men recycled many of their same material from the first debate, though I did find that Obama was more aggressive – but in a constructive way. Whereas McCain just came off as mean and bitter when trying to nail Obama on some issues. It didn’t help that McCain was bending the truth and outright lying on some of these points either.

Did anyone catch the comment McCain made to the second Town Hall person who asked a question? He actually said to the guy that he probably hadn’t even heard of Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac before the financial crisis happened. WTF? I’m not going to pull the racism card but at the very least this was downright condescending. Obama caught it – he actually smiled and shook his head while the guy who asked the question stared wide-eyed at McCain in an “I can’t believe you just said that to me” kind of way.

And what is with McCain overusing the “my friends” thing when addressing the audience? It was so ham-fisted and transparent I can’t believe he kept using it! It was like Palin repeating the “Joe Six Pack” and “Maverick” shit over and over. Do people actually eat that shit up? Do Americans feel that he is appealing to them this way?

Obama remained in control throughout the debate, effortlessly defending himself from McCain’s paltry attacks, while McCain simply refused to address any criticism directed at him and his policies, choosing instead to repeat the same empty, meaningless crap over and over. He kept saying he has solutions to the financial crisis, to health care, but he never said what they are. What is the big secret?

If I were Obama, I would have said to McCain: “The war in Iraq is one of the biggest mistakes any President of the United States has ever made in office and you supported it. This war did not begin with the Surge as you like to pretend. The Surge is ‘successful’ because it was a band aid solution to a mess that the US created. How many American and Iraqi lives, both military and civilian have been lost because of this blunder? How much money is this country wasting on this war when this money could go towards healthcare, cleaning up the Wall Street mess, fixing Social Security? Wake up McCain, your glory days of war games are over. You are old and out of touch. It’s time to open your eyes to what this country really needs.”

Why can’t Obama say that? Would it matter to McCain supporters? Something tells me that they are pretty firm on their decision to support McCain/Palin. I would have to say I agree with Bill Maher that a large majority of the American population (just like here in Canada) is stupid. And these stupid people want a Joe Six Pack Maverick for President because he will “bomb bomb bomb Iran”, keep Government out of their business (unless you count the Bush doctrine of course. But Palin doesn’t even know what the fuck that is), challenge Roe vs. Wade, implement the teaching of creationism in schools, and continue to do nothing about global warming.

Pretty scary stuff.

Oh, and I almost forgot. Not one mention of Sarah Palin from McCain last night. What gives? He has spent the last 6 weeks of his campaign relying on her star power to fuel his popularity.

I’m really worried that Obama won’t get elected. I think a lot of people are. Let’s just hope that enough of them go out and vote. And that these votes are counted. And let’s hope that the undecided voters in the US can ignore the spin from sources like Fox news and don’t believe the hype when these ‘journalists’ tell them that McCain won last night and is still going strong.

Go Obama!

daycare woes

Avery cried for me when I dropped her off this morning. My heart shattered. Was I complaining about her not even saying goodbye to me before?

Each morning I pack up her breakfast, lunch and snacks to send her to daycare with. For the last three days I have been giving her yogurt, fruit and a slice of carrot loaf for breakfast. As I have not seen the carrot loaf come back in her bag at night, I guess I assumed she was eating it. So I keep packing it, thinking she really likes it. I casually asked my girlfriend about it this morning. It went something like this:

“She seems to like this carrot loaf. She has been eating it every morning right?” I ask.

“Oh no. She won’t even touch it. I kept trying but she wasn’t interested.” said girlfriend/caregiver.

“…” me. Wondering what the fuck she has been doing with the carrot loaf then. Is she eating it?

Also this morning: every single person in that house has a cold. A cold with a nasty cough. Fucking fantastic. Guess what we’ll all be doing next week? I just love having horrible colds whilst being pregnant and looking after a toddler. Oh yes, and working full time. Awesome.

I hate leaving my daughter and I especially hate leaving her in a house full of sick people. Not only that but since she has been going there on Monday, she has had bad gas and runny poop. Every day. Is it teething? Is my girlfriend sneaking her processed, non-organic crap food?

Tomorrow, thank jeebus, both my husband and I are home. I don’t think I could handle another day of leaving her at daycare. Remind me of this next year when I am home with two of them and complaining about not having any “me” time. Truly the current arrangement sucks more for all of us.