Saturday, December 15, 2007

5 months




Dear Avery,

Today you are 5 months old. I officially love you more than anything in this universe. Now, this isn't a new thing, but for the past five months I have been telling you that I love you more than anything in this world...but I'm going to have to go further and say universe.

Your dad and I have been putting you on your tummy on the ground and cheering you on as you grunt and drool and wiggle yourself across the floor in a dramatic attempt at crawling. It looks like hard work and I have to steel myself against your frustrated grunts and let you try before I sweep you up into my arms again. You are also "walking" when your dad and I hold you up. You're pretty sturdy on your feet. Sometimes I think you are just going to forget crawling altogether and just start walking.

Last week, after many weeks of drooling and suffering, two bottom teeth burst through your gums. They are the cutest and sharpest little teeth I have ever seen. How do I know how sharp they are? You like to bite my nipples when you are eating. I'm hoping its just a phase.

You are also very big and very strong. The doctor is pretty impressed with you. You are already 20 pounds and 28 inches long/tall. Of course you have always been off the charts, ever since your first checkup when we were amazed that you were gaining weight so quickly. You were holding your head up at one month old, and bouncing away happily in the Jolly Jumper by two months. People always think you are 8 or 9 months old when they see you. I must have steroids in my breast milk.

Daddy and I have adapted the "attachment parenting" philosophy. We have finally admitted that we are not going to kick you out of our bed anytime soon. Having you sleep with us has been one of the best things about having you. You are the happiest little baby in the mornings. When you wake up (around 8am thank you very much!) I move you over in to the middle of the bed so daddy can give you a back rub. You laugh and smile and fart and we all lie there letting the house warm up before getting out of bed. It is wonderful.

One of the best things about you is your laugh. You first laughed on October 10. I remember it because I was waiting for it. Since then, you laugh at almost everything daddy does. He likes to lay you down on your back and make farting noises on your tummy. You eat it up.

Oh, and you are babbling away like crazy now. You are an absolute DREAM to take out. You never cry or fuss when we go shopping with you. Daddy and I took you to our favourite Mexican restaurant the other night and you were so good. The waitress held you for awhile so I could eat and you didn't even make a peep the whole time. The only thing you don't like is the carseat, but I can't blame you for that. I would hate to be restrained in a boring old car too. You're usually okay now because I've started sitting in the back with you again.

So what else can I say except that daddy and I are in love with you and cannot imagine how we lived before you. We feel like we spent our entire lives waiting for you and finally we get to have you. When I look at your feet it makes me feel like crying sometimes because they are so cute and fat and I wish sometimes that you could stay this age forever. I love those feet.

Today, when you wake up from your nap, I'm going to see if you want to try some banana. I know we're supposed to wait until six months to try anything but I thought you might like to change things up a bit, and besides, they're organic bananas. I'll have to update this letter with your reaction. Of course, as always, we'll get tons of pictures and footage of this event.

So my sweet girl, keep growing strong and healthy. I love you tons and tons, and so does daddy. I can't wait to spend your first Christmas with you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Love,

Mum

xoxoxoxoxoxo



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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

not working out

Sooooo, yeah. The whole "meeting up with other moms" thing the other day did not work out. Basically, I met another girl with a four month old through my step-sister and she "Facebooked" me to let me know that her and the other moms were meeting up at the mall and would I like to come. Because of her abundant use of exclamation points in the invite and because she added me to her Facebook so quickly, I said to myself: "Wow, she seems really friendly and it sounds like she would like to get together with me. This is going to be good for me."

So I woke Avery from her nap early (bad mommy), and tried to force feed her so that I wouldn't have to whip a boob out in the mall (really bad mommy), but she refused and so we headed out into the freezing cold day to meet up with other moms at the mall.

All the way there I was thinking to myself how good it was that I was getting out and meeting other moms. This would be the first time that I have done anything like this because I am a moody hermit who is bent on making myself miserable by keeping myself isolated with a small baby while trying to recover from post-partum depression.

So I get to the mall and all the moms are sitting on benches by the entrance. I walk over with a beaming smile on my face and prepare to meet everyone. The girl I met through my sister-in- law, let's just call her bitchface, turns and says hello to me, and then goes right back to her conversation with one of the other moms. She didn't even crack a smile. So I stood there like a fucking asshole while the women ignored me. LITERALLY ignored me. Finally one of them asked me my name, then we all proceeded to the food court. At this point, I was planning on getting out of there as soon as possible, but thought I would give them another shot. On the way to the food court, I weakly tried to make conversation with bitchface, which basically ended up in an exchange about how ready both of us were for Christmas. Not a single one of those women even asked Avery's name, and they barely even looked at her in the stroller. All of them were very concerned about buying their babies some silver bracelet or something that is like $200 and so we stopped at every jewellery store on the way to the food court.

When we got to our destination, I decided to just tell people I had already eaten instead of having dirty looks thrown in my direction while I tried to explain that I try not to eat processed food and I definitely do not eat fast food. Then Avery got hungry so I headed off to the bathroom to feed her (they have a shitty little breastfeeding area in there). When I returned, even more mommies had shown up and one of them had taken my seat.

I pretty much just took off after that. The giant fat mommy that I temporarily sat across from before going off to feed Avery basically insulted me by telling me that Avery is a man's name, that she thought I was crazy for having Avery in size 5 diapers already when clearly she should only be in size 3's still as her son is 8 months old and still in size 3's (yes, I guess this is what some mommies really do talk about), and mentioned the fact that she goes to church like 18 times. Oh, and she schedules "new foods" for her son to try on Thursdays like I give a flying fuck. If I could have said to her what I really wanted to say it would go something like this:

"Why don't you go eat a hoagie you fat bitch. You have an ugly baby, I hate religion and I think you are full of shit."

So Avery and I went to Old Navy where I did some therapy shopping for myself and then high-tailed it home. It was a complete waste of time. It was like high school where people think that they are cool by being rude and all non-plussed about everything. So fuck them.

I joined Babyville in my neighbourhood and Avery and I start going in January. Hopefully the mothers there will be less retarded; otherwise I am going back to my moody, shut-in ways.

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Tuesday, December 04, 2007

catching up...




Alright so Avery is now 4 1/2 months old. What the hell have we been doing all this time? Does anyone even read this blog anymore?

Avery is wonderful. She really hardly ever cries, she sleeps most of the night (except waking to feed briefly a couple of times), and she is teething though she is being very tough about it. She is still sleeping in our bed and I intend on keeping it this way after reading a few books by Dr. Sears and realizing that I am not a total freak for having my baby sleep in my bed. It is wonderful.

Breastfeeding is still going well except we have had the top of a jagged little tooth introduced into the situation and the under side of the nipples are a little sore.

I am venturing out into the world of mommy groups tomorrow. I'm going to admit that I am a little nervous. I have no idea how we are all going to navigate our strollers around the crowded mall but hell, I'm getting out of the house and ACTUALLY TALKING to other mums with babies. I am forcing myself to come out of my shell, get out of my pajama pants and interact with other people. Wish me luck.

In other news, I have joined an online group for Attachment Parenting parents. My goal is to meet other mothers who won't look at me like a freak when I tell them I sleep with my baby, nurse her on demand, and won't let her "cry it out" to "teach her to sleep". I am excited about this. I'll let you know how it goes (if anyone even reads this thing anymore).

Oh, and the reason I am able to write this? Avery is NAPPING!!! Yes, more than twenty minutes per nap! She actually sleeps for two hours in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. Oh sweet bliss.

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