Insect Euthanasia

I had my interview. I think it went pretty well. They asked me for my references right away and thankfully I had remembered to bring them to the interview. The woman who interviewed me was the VP of the department and seemed a little uptight and perhaps slightly unstable but I figure you don’t get into positions like hers without those attributes. Anyways, it’s a big office, unlike where I work now, so you don’t get stuck with the same asshole breathing down your neck everyday.

I find out if I get the job tomorrow. The shit is going to hit the fan here when I quit. I figure I will give them a week. They screwed me over with my contract so I’m not going to give them the courtesy of two weeks. I never planned on using my boss as a reference anyways. She (as you have been reading) is not only the most incompetent manager I have ever worked for, but the woman couldn’t even say a nice thing about Mother Theresa – she’s that much of a negative bitch. Even if I had left on good terms she would be cutting me to shreds behind my back within minutes (if she isn’t doing so already).

I can’t wait to get out of here. Even the people I liked before are starting to get on my nerves. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood today. Normally, I go for lunch with a couple of the girls whom I get on with quite well. Today they “forgot to call me” so I went to the cafeteria to eat with some other people (one of whom is known to bring tripe for lunch on occasion which stinks worse than death and also eats with his mouth open and slurps his drinks). After I ate I headed back and found the girls eating their lunch in one of cubicles.

“Oh we called you” one of them said. I really didn’t care, I mean, it was kind of annoying but I was trying to find them to see if they were going to go for a walk. Their reason for not coming to the cafeteria for lunch was because they were worried about one of the managers who was feeling light headed. He is diabetic. When I asked where he was, they told me he had left. Okay. So why are they eating lunch in the office then? Then I asked one of them if he was okay. She informed me that they had given him a Diet Coke because his sugar was crashing.

“There’s no sugar in Diet Coke”. I said.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s good for diabetics” she told me.

(Insert drunken trombone sound effect.)

This is what it is: I don’t hate these people; I am annoyed by the fact that they really are pretty dumb. The whole lot of them. Also, the girls are really emotional and whenever someone is telling a story they always say “Aw”, even when “aw” does not apply.

For example:

“I have to get this report done by the end of the week”

“Aw” one of the girls.

Aw what? There is nothing sad or cute about the fact that I have to write a report. You are just in the habit of vapidly making noises and faces when words come out of other people’s mouths. Just stop.

Or they say things like “Ew, I love that!”

Alright, enough girl bashing. So we went out for the walk. One of the younger tech guys came out with us and while we were standing around the door talking just before we came in, he stepped on an ant. He didn’t kill it though, just maimed it. I asked him why the hell he thought he needed to kill a bug. He laughed. Then he watched it stumble around. So I stepped on it.

“What the fuck, I thought you were all like ‘Don’t kill bugs’” he said to me.

“You were causing it to suffer. I ended the suffering.”

Everyone laughed, then made more jokes about me being a bug-killer.

What a bunch of idiots. Please get me out of here.

Office Girl