this week sucks
This is Avery’s first week of full-day daycare. She is only going Monday to Thursday, and she is being looked after by my girlfriend who literally lives next door to my house, but still I worried. On Monday morning I dropped her off and she didn’t even look back at me – just ran into the house to play with my girlfriend’s kids. I was pretty happy about this and felt a little less guilty than usual on my way to work (I feel guilty even if she is home with dad – I feel guilty that I have to leave her period) and then my girlfriend called me after lunch to let me know that she had been able to put Avery down for a nap with no problems.
This is the kid that I have to struggle with in order to get her to sleep. She will not go to sleep without nursing and usually it takes about 20-30 minutes to get her to pass out so I can sneak out of the room. Then I get about an hour of nap time from her.
My girlfriend walked her upstairs, told her it was “night-night” time, then laid her down in the playpen and walked out of the room. Avery went to sleep right away. She slept for two and a half freaking hours. No crying. Nothing. While I am very happy that she loves her daycare and has adjusted so well, part of me was kind of annoyed. What the hell have I been doing wrong? Last weekend, we went over to the house of a mum I met through one of my groups. A bunch of us went and brought the babies. I am the only mother still struggling with sleep issues. All of the other kids are either sleeping right through the night or waking only once. Last night Avery was up 7 times.
At work I hear some of the other mothers of toddlers talking about how well their kids are sleeping.
I know every child is different but I think I am getting pretty burnt out. Being pregnant doesn’t help as I am extra tired and definitely not getting the sleep I need. But come on. 7 times? And that is pretty average. Occasionally we have a few good nights where she will only wake up twice and settle herself, but I could use more of these nights.
Avery cannot wait to go over to my girlfriend’s house. Again, I am happy that she is so happy there but I feel jealous in this weird way. Avery wanders around chanting my girlfriends name and this morning I could barely get her shoes on she was so excited to go over there. I’m starting to feel like kind of a second rate mother. Like maybe Avery is happier over there than with me. When I went to pick her up last night she came over to me, smiling, handed me a toy and then took off again. This might sound ridiculous but I was shattered. I had to coax her to come home with me.
Maybe this is all normal, maybe its pregnancy hormones. Maybe I’m just overtired and overextended. With the husband working days, I’m alone for the morning and evening routines. I have to get all the shit together in the mornings, get myself ready, and get Avery ready by 7:30am. At night, I stop at the store; pick up Avery and then struggle to get everything tidied and dinner made. Then I have to pack lunches and breakfast for the next day.
This is gross, but you know what I realized the other day? I have been wearing the same bra for over 2 weeks. The other ones were washed and left in the laundry room to dry and I haven’t even bothered/found the time to go get a clean one. My hair was last washed 3 days ago and I am wearing yesterday’s leftover makeup. Tonight I have no fucking idea how to make dinner, give Avery a bath and then get myself in the shower all before her “bedtime”. And by bedtime I mean an hour of me trying to get her down.
10 weeks pregnant this Thursday. First ultrasound scheduled for October 16th. Hopefully all is well with “the egg” as my husband and I call the new baby. I find I barely even think about the pregnancy beyond taking my prenatal vitamin every morning.
This is why I am not going back to work for a few years after baby #2. How the hell do people do this 5 days a week every week?
This is the kid that I have to struggle with in order to get her to sleep. She will not go to sleep without nursing and usually it takes about 20-30 minutes to get her to pass out so I can sneak out of the room. Then I get about an hour of nap time from her.
My girlfriend walked her upstairs, told her it was “night-night” time, then laid her down in the playpen and walked out of the room. Avery went to sleep right away. She slept for two and a half freaking hours. No crying. Nothing. While I am very happy that she loves her daycare and has adjusted so well, part of me was kind of annoyed. What the hell have I been doing wrong? Last weekend, we went over to the house of a mum I met through one of my groups. A bunch of us went and brought the babies. I am the only mother still struggling with sleep issues. All of the other kids are either sleeping right through the night or waking only once. Last night Avery was up 7 times.
At work I hear some of the other mothers of toddlers talking about how well their kids are sleeping.
I know every child is different but I think I am getting pretty burnt out. Being pregnant doesn’t help as I am extra tired and definitely not getting the sleep I need. But come on. 7 times? And that is pretty average. Occasionally we have a few good nights where she will only wake up twice and settle herself, but I could use more of these nights.
Avery cannot wait to go over to my girlfriend’s house. Again, I am happy that she is so happy there but I feel jealous in this weird way. Avery wanders around chanting my girlfriends name and this morning I could barely get her shoes on she was so excited to go over there. I’m starting to feel like kind of a second rate mother. Like maybe Avery is happier over there than with me. When I went to pick her up last night she came over to me, smiling, handed me a toy and then took off again. This might sound ridiculous but I was shattered. I had to coax her to come home with me.
Maybe this is all normal, maybe its pregnancy hormones. Maybe I’m just overtired and overextended. With the husband working days, I’m alone for the morning and evening routines. I have to get all the shit together in the mornings, get myself ready, and get Avery ready by 7:30am. At night, I stop at the store; pick up Avery and then struggle to get everything tidied and dinner made. Then I have to pack lunches and breakfast for the next day.
This is gross, but you know what I realized the other day? I have been wearing the same bra for over 2 weeks. The other ones were washed and left in the laundry room to dry and I haven’t even bothered/found the time to go get a clean one. My hair was last washed 3 days ago and I am wearing yesterday’s leftover makeup. Tonight I have no fucking idea how to make dinner, give Avery a bath and then get myself in the shower all before her “bedtime”. And by bedtime I mean an hour of me trying to get her down.
10 weeks pregnant this Thursday. First ultrasound scheduled for October 16th. Hopefully all is well with “the egg” as my husband and I call the new baby. I find I barely even think about the pregnancy beyond taking my prenatal vitamin every morning.
This is why I am not going back to work for a few years after baby #2. How the hell do people do this 5 days a week every week?
posted by vegan mum at 1:37 PM
2 Comments:
Aw, I wouldn't sweat the sleep thing. My kid naps at daycare on a couch. A COUCH! In the middle of the freaking living room -- the girl who, when at home with me, needs a cup of milk, 10 minutes of songs, a noise machine, and a night light in order to go to sleep.
My mom runs a home daycare and she says that kids often nap much more easily when away from home. Something about baby peer pressure -- all the other kids are sleeping, so I guess I'd better do it too. Infuriating, I know.
It totally makes sense that you have that second rate mother feelign when avery is excited to go to daycare
But im and ECE and its not because you are a second rate mother!!! It means that avery and you are very well bonded and she trust you and knows you will come back for her.
And the day care is a new environment for her, its different from home, because she has such a good relationship with you she isnt afriad to experience it on her own.
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