not going to cut it with me

There are always going to be people in your office that everyone else makes excuses for. Usually, you do not have any knowledge of any prior circumstances which may have led to this type of treatment, and therefore do not understand why everyone would be covering for such an idiot/emotional basketcase/ sick day abuser. There is a woman in my office who falls under this description. She appears to be very sickly all the time, and often takes sick days. She also has a habit of wandering in after 9am and leaving way before 4pm without any explanation or even a goodbye to anyone. No one questions this. I speak to her every once in a while, not by choice, but because she wanders into my office and drags out uninteresting stories for sometimes over 20 minutes, and occasionally farts and does not acknowledge it, leaving me to sit there inhaling her fart smell while she prattles on like nothing happened. I do not despise this woman, but I don’t particularly want to be her best friend either. Today, our relationship changed.

I came back from my 354th trip to the bathroom to pee out a super tiny bit of urine because my bladder continues to trick me into believing it is full to find a message on my voicemail. It was her. She asked me to call her back right away. I call her back right away.

Her: “Do you know if the material for this text has gone out yet?”

Me: “As far as I know it has, but I am not handling the distribution of the material this time. Let me see if I’ve been copied in on any e-mails that could verify this for you”

I check my emails for this project and find some.

Me: “Yep, here we go. The material went out in December of last year.”

Her: “Thanks”

She then hangs up without saying goodbye. I am confused and beginning to wonder if I was supposed to let her in on this information earlier. After a few minutes I confirm with myself that she does not even work in my department and I have never had to tell her anything before so I am not responsible for this. I decide to double check on this by going over to her office to ask her in person. I knock on the door and am told to enter. She is sitting in front of her computer with her hands folded in front of her. I begin to ask her if there is anything I can help with when she cuts me off and, sobbing, tells me she is so furious she cannot even talk to me. Oooookaaaaaay. Is she mad at me? I have no idea why she would be, but decide to ask her if it is something I did or did not do and I am told to leave and close her door. I back out of the office and close the door. She proceeds to have a nervous breakdown (I am assuming) behind this closed door. For the rest of the afternoon, I have been wondering what in the hell has been going on. No one has told me anything. I have not seen her.

You know what? Not going to cut it with me. You cannot just freak the fuck out like that at someone and not give them any explanation as to why you are freaking the fuck out. I am left wondering what I did or did not do. Most likely, this has nothing to do with me, but still, how would I know? I don’t care how sensitive this woman is, this is work, and at work, there is an assumed air of professionalism. Use your big girl words and stop having tantrums. I do not have time for this bullshit.

Hey – in other news: my lovely daughter is now repeatedly kicking me as hard as she can right in the old bladder as soon as I curl up in bed for the night. I have a feeling her and I are a lot alike. What can I say though; it’s good to feel her moving around in there.