my way

Before I told my boss about the pregnancy, I told a woman in my office. We’ve become friends over the last few months. She’s already a mom and pretty much came right out and asked me if I was pregnant a little while ago. I asked her to keep it to herself because I had not told anyone yet. She kept it to herself but had a few near-slip-ups around the office every once in awhile. I must remind myself to keep mum about my pregnancies in the future. She did her best to keep her mouth shut but she’s one of those busy-body type of women. It was actually getting pretty annoying to have her come up to me every morning and half-jokingly ask me if she could tell anyone yet.

Now, why the hell was she so excited about telling people? She was acting like it was her pregnancy or something.

So after I told my boss the other day, she asked me how it went. I told her it went very well and then she actually said “Now I can send out an e-mail and tell everyone.”

I was like, uh wtf? First of all, no you will not send out a fucking email to tell everyone in the office, secondly, this is not your news to tell. I explained to her nicely that I am a very private person and that I am aware that people are eventually going to find out one way or another but I will not have an email sent out to the entire department about it. Most people will not give a shit and wonder why their time is being wasted with a dumb email like that, and the other ones (the other busy bodies) will come running over to my office to gush and flit around like hens with their high-pitched voices talking about how wonderful the whole thing is.

I hate shit like that.

Then I made the mistake of showing her the pictures from my ultrasound. She actually took them from my hand and told me she was going to photocopy them so that I could put them up in my office. I lost my patience. I took them back and told her to forget it, that obviously she does not understand me. I do not want the attention from people. This is my baby, my life and I really do not care enough about the majority of people in this office to share this with them and have them come in while I am working to gawk at the pictures.

So there. Once again I look like an asshole. The same thing happened the other day when a friend of ours decided they would like to buy us a Disney lamp for the nursery. I said no. When they asked why, I went into a rant. It goes something like this:

I hate Disney. I hate Disney-themed nurseries and I especially hate the “princess theme” nursery shit that Disney puts out. It makes me sick. My little girl is not going to have a pink princess room because that is bullshit. I hate the “You’re a girl so you must dress like this and you’re a boy so you dress like this” crap. I hate that people let their kids watch the Lion King 8 times a day. It is mind numbing. I hate Disney like I hate Walmart. It is banned from my house.

Don’t get me wrong; the whole thing is very magical for me. I am so excited to be having a baby and I love sharing the experience with my friends and family. I am just a very private person who does not want to be gushed over. I also do not want people telling me how to decorate the baby’s room. Let’s be honest, the baby does not care either way what her room looks like because SHE’S A BABY. The room will be for her mommy and mommy wants Michael Sowa paintings and Edward Gorey artwork in there.

So there Martha Stewart.