dear me in the near future,
Congratulations, I’m sure everything is going wonderfully. Hopefully, we never got the post-partum depression we were so worried about and we are adjusting to life as a slave/milk machine well. Also, I hope our vagina is still intact and functioning normally.
The reason I am writing this is because I am afraid that we are going to forget about pregnancy as soon as husband starts talking about having another one right away. As we both know, he is very concerned about having children too far apart and he feels like he is going to be too old to have kids in a few years, which, as both of us can agree on, is ridiculous considering that he is only 30 right now.
Here is my main piece of advice and I would like you to consider this in all seriousness: do not get pregnant again for awhile. Like, give it a couple of years. I don’t see any problem with having a 3 or 4 year old and a newborn, I think that is a great combination. I have many reasons for thinking this way and I have outlined them below:
First of all, don’t forget how bad the first trimester was. We were very sick and very tired all the time. It was hard for us to take care of ourselves and Charlie (remember what a pain in the ass he was then?) and things were very stressful. We did not start feeling better until we were about 16 weeks along. Now picture that with Charlie, a toddler, a full time job and a house to run.
The second trimester was great, but it leads in to the third trimester, which has been for the most part fine, except that we are bigger and very, very tired again. Bending over to pick up a dog chew off of the ground is almost impossible now. See where I am going with this? The breasts hurt, the skin on our tummy is stretched and itchy and we feel like a big puffy blob. Ooh, the swelling. The swelling is really bad if we don’t stay off of our feet. Not possible with toddler, Charlie, house and full-time job.
Also remember that when husband is working, especially nights, we are basically a single mom and that is a lot of work. It will not be easy with two of them under 3. And how are we managing the daycare situation? Remember the conversation we had with husband about the potential of us not being able to stay home after the second one is born. We could be shipped right back to work after the maternity leave. I know we always planned on staying home for a few years but this might not work out and I know us too well to think that we could live happily with all that stress. 2 kids under 3, Charlie, a fill time job and a house to run. Honey, it’s not worth it.
Husband is wonderful and very supportive for the most part but I am still cleaning the house, scrubbing toilets and picking up the slack at this stage. He constantly has to be reminded to change the cat litter and he ALWAYS forgets to take the garbage out on garbage day, leaving us to haul everything to the corner. Note for the future pregnancy: PLAY IT UP. Even if you feel fine, shut up about it and let yourself be pampered and cared for. Stop trying to do everything yourself. It makes you tired and grumpy. I want you to be happy and to enjoy the children, not be trapped in a messy house with screaming kids and a bitter husband.
Don’t get pregnant right away. Enjoy Avery. Enjoy her for a few years before you think about having another one. Trust me. We will have long forgotten all about this pregnancy by then.
Love,
Me.
The reason I am writing this is because I am afraid that we are going to forget about pregnancy as soon as husband starts talking about having another one right away. As we both know, he is very concerned about having children too far apart and he feels like he is going to be too old to have kids in a few years, which, as both of us can agree on, is ridiculous considering that he is only 30 right now.
Here is my main piece of advice and I would like you to consider this in all seriousness: do not get pregnant again for awhile. Like, give it a couple of years. I don’t see any problem with having a 3 or 4 year old and a newborn, I think that is a great combination. I have many reasons for thinking this way and I have outlined them below:
First of all, don’t forget how bad the first trimester was. We were very sick and very tired all the time. It was hard for us to take care of ourselves and Charlie (remember what a pain in the ass he was then?) and things were very stressful. We did not start feeling better until we were about 16 weeks along. Now picture that with Charlie, a toddler, a full time job and a house to run.
The second trimester was great, but it leads in to the third trimester, which has been for the most part fine, except that we are bigger and very, very tired again. Bending over to pick up a dog chew off of the ground is almost impossible now. See where I am going with this? The breasts hurt, the skin on our tummy is stretched and itchy and we feel like a big puffy blob. Ooh, the swelling. The swelling is really bad if we don’t stay off of our feet. Not possible with toddler, Charlie, house and full-time job.
Also remember that when husband is working, especially nights, we are basically a single mom and that is a lot of work. It will not be easy with two of them under 3. And how are we managing the daycare situation? Remember the conversation we had with husband about the potential of us not being able to stay home after the second one is born. We could be shipped right back to work after the maternity leave. I know we always planned on staying home for a few years but this might not work out and I know us too well to think that we could live happily with all that stress. 2 kids under 3, Charlie, a fill time job and a house to run. Honey, it’s not worth it.
Husband is wonderful and very supportive for the most part but I am still cleaning the house, scrubbing toilets and picking up the slack at this stage. He constantly has to be reminded to change the cat litter and he ALWAYS forgets to take the garbage out on garbage day, leaving us to haul everything to the corner. Note for the future pregnancy: PLAY IT UP. Even if you feel fine, shut up about it and let yourself be pampered and cared for. Stop trying to do everything yourself. It makes you tired and grumpy. I want you to be happy and to enjoy the children, not be trapped in a messy house with screaming kids and a bitter husband.
Don’t get pregnant right away. Enjoy Avery. Enjoy her for a few years before you think about having another one. Trust me. We will have long forgotten all about this pregnancy by then.
Love,
Me.
Labels: Pregnancy
posted by vegan mum at 10:05 AM
2 Comments:
Good idea. Although for me? I don't need the letter. Nine months postpartum, the bleary-eyed sleeplessness does me the favor of reminding me again and again... :)
I'm so excited that you're almost at the finish line...
Don't listen to your doctor when he tells you that breastfeeding is a natural contraceptive. ITS A TRAP! I repeat... ITS A FRICKING TRAP! Double up, honey, cause you will be a fertile mama once Avery is here. I don't see anything wrong with spacing baby one and baby 2 out a few years. By the time you are mentally prepared for number two, Avery will be mentally and physically ready to be your little helper.
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