a pregnancy rant
As a result of the wonders of pregnancy, I developed heinous acne. Lovely. Not only did I suffer from zits that I never got even as a teenager, they quickly spread to my chest, preventing me from wearing anything with a v-neck. I’m talking bad. It hurt.
So when I was told to try diaper rash cream on the acne, I figured I might as well because nothing else worked and the stuff that did work I was not allowed to use.
It worked. Like a charm.
So I thought I would just pass that on to people in case they are suffering the same fate as I was. Not only do your coworkers wonder why you are suddenly getting thick around the middle, they are also gazing at their own reflections in your greasy forehead while they are talking to you and marvelling at just how bad your skin is for a 28 year old. Oh, and get the 40% zinc oxide cream, the others have too little zinc to do anything.
In other news, I thought I would be more positive and take a break from worrying about how fat I am starting to look and obsessing over the potential stretch marks I am going to receive. So I’m doing pretty good with this and then the husband makes a comment about how I went to McDonalds last week. He thinks McDonald’s is disgusting. I agree. I never eat the stuff. However, the other evening I was driving home after a long day at work and then running errands and my tummy started to growl. Then it hit me: I must eat chicken McNuggets. I can’t explain it, but I know it happens during pregnancy. I ate the food and I felt good. I know it’s not healthy, but once in a while I think it’s okay to cheat. Because I did not have cash on me, I had to use Interac. Because my husband OBSESSIVELY goes over the bank statements each week, he saw that I went to McDonalds.
He actually made a point of bringing it up to me. When I looked at him in a way that said:”Yeah, so what…?” He proceeded to tell me how disgusting that food is. WTF. Now, because I used to smoke I cannot say anything about his cigarettes (he quit 6 days ago thank jeebus); but how fucking ridiculous is it that someone who smokes cigarettes wants to lecture you on how bad McDonalds is. I’m not even going to get into his diet here, which most of the time is not bad but he eats his share of complete crap.
You know why this makes me really mad? Because I had to give up EVERYTHING. Cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, excess salt, excess sugar, diet coke, anything with aspartame in it, and a few other things I used to enjoy. I’m not complaining. There is nothing more important to me than the health of this baby and I can live without all that stuff. But it’s not like he gave up anything with me. He kept drinking and smoking. He maintained his lifestyle.
While we’re on the subject of shit that pisses me off, I would also like to mention that I am sick and fucking tired of people talking about how much weight I should gain and how I better start slathering on the cream so I don’t get stretch marks and how I can lose the weight after I give birth. You know what? FUCK OFF. I’m the one that is pregnant; I’m the one that dealt with the morning/all day sickness, the fatigue, the depression. I can worry myself enough without having input from other people.
You think women don’t worry about these things enough without other people having to bring it up? Leave us alone. We are tired and sick. We are sacrificing a lot right now, physically, mentally and emotionally so lay off. And to the woman who gave me a dirty look when I told her I take Tylenol sometimes when I have a headache while pregnant: go back to your scrapbooking bitch. You’re not my fucking OB/GYN. I have a goddamn headache and I have to go to work. I’m not smoking crack.
Sorry for all the swearing. Sometimes it just makes the writing more effective. I do feel better now.
So when I was told to try diaper rash cream on the acne, I figured I might as well because nothing else worked and the stuff that did work I was not allowed to use.
It worked. Like a charm.
So I thought I would just pass that on to people in case they are suffering the same fate as I was. Not only do your coworkers wonder why you are suddenly getting thick around the middle, they are also gazing at their own reflections in your greasy forehead while they are talking to you and marvelling at just how bad your skin is for a 28 year old. Oh, and get the 40% zinc oxide cream, the others have too little zinc to do anything.
In other news, I thought I would be more positive and take a break from worrying about how fat I am starting to look and obsessing over the potential stretch marks I am going to receive. So I’m doing pretty good with this and then the husband makes a comment about how I went to McDonalds last week. He thinks McDonald’s is disgusting. I agree. I never eat the stuff. However, the other evening I was driving home after a long day at work and then running errands and my tummy started to growl. Then it hit me: I must eat chicken McNuggets. I can’t explain it, but I know it happens during pregnancy. I ate the food and I felt good. I know it’s not healthy, but once in a while I think it’s okay to cheat. Because I did not have cash on me, I had to use Interac. Because my husband OBSESSIVELY goes over the bank statements each week, he saw that I went to McDonalds.
He actually made a point of bringing it up to me. When I looked at him in a way that said:”Yeah, so what…?” He proceeded to tell me how disgusting that food is. WTF. Now, because I used to smoke I cannot say anything about his cigarettes (he quit 6 days ago thank jeebus); but how fucking ridiculous is it that someone who smokes cigarettes wants to lecture you on how bad McDonalds is. I’m not even going to get into his diet here, which most of the time is not bad but he eats his share of complete crap.
You know why this makes me really mad? Because I had to give up EVERYTHING. Cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine, excess salt, excess sugar, diet coke, anything with aspartame in it, and a few other things I used to enjoy. I’m not complaining. There is nothing more important to me than the health of this baby and I can live without all that stuff. But it’s not like he gave up anything with me. He kept drinking and smoking. He maintained his lifestyle.
While we’re on the subject of shit that pisses me off, I would also like to mention that I am sick and fucking tired of people talking about how much weight I should gain and how I better start slathering on the cream so I don’t get stretch marks and how I can lose the weight after I give birth. You know what? FUCK OFF. I’m the one that is pregnant; I’m the one that dealt with the morning/all day sickness, the fatigue, the depression. I can worry myself enough without having input from other people.
You think women don’t worry about these things enough without other people having to bring it up? Leave us alone. We are tired and sick. We are sacrificing a lot right now, physically, mentally and emotionally so lay off. And to the woman who gave me a dirty look when I told her I take Tylenol sometimes when I have a headache while pregnant: go back to your scrapbooking bitch. You’re not my fucking OB/GYN. I have a goddamn headache and I have to go to work. I’m not smoking crack.
Sorry for all the swearing. Sometimes it just makes the writing more effective. I do feel better now.
posted by vegan mum at 11:53 AM
1 Comments:
I wish someone told me about diaper cream for zits when I was pregnant. I just complained constantly about the heinous volcanos that popped up on my chin. Instead of talking to me, people would direct their conversation to Mt Etna. It was great. I tried toothpaste at nights... I even went the 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' route and tried WINDEX. Doesnt work, by the way.
Giving up caffeine was something I didnt do. Feta, yes... tuna, yes... changing the kitty litter box, gladly... I cut down the caffeine but I didnt cut it out. And I continued to drink diet coke while pregnant because my OB said it was better while being 'technically' diabetic to drink that then regular coke.
Oh, and I got my hair dyed while I was 6 months pregnant too. ;)
Stretch marks? We all have 'em. I'm told it's a genetic thing... if your mom got 'em then you probablly will as well. I have the great wall of china running up and down my once flawless tummy. Yeah, theyve faded but the thought of wearing a 2 piece swimsuit is completely out forever. Or at least until medical covers tummy tucks and even then I have no idea if a tummy tuck will get rid of the great wall.
I'm kidding of course. Stretch marks are just battle scars to be proud of... or so I'm told.
And the Cocoa Butter to get rid of them... the makers of Cocoa Butter can shove the tubes so far up their asses that every time they blink they can see them, for all I care. It doesnt work. Dont waste your money. I spent too much money on cocoa butter to try and ease the stretch marks but nothing helped. Nobody that I've talked to had much luck in getting the cocoa butter to work. Or vitamin E cream for that matter.
Hell, I had stretch marks on my boobs when puberty hit. These are just more to add to the collection.
And tylenol? Please, there are far worse things you could be taking. Tylenol is fine and it wont harm your baby. Some people need to chill out and butt out. The unwanted advice can go out the window too. My rule was if I want advice, I'll ask for it. Dont fucking just throw it out there it cause then it's not advice, it's your opinion.
Oh, and just a warning... towards the end of second trimester kinda beginning of third trimester, after your body starts to get used to the fact that you're carrying around an extra little passenger and the all day sickness passes, you'll want the sex. All the time. He wont be able to keep up. Seriously. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home